Pain, Plain

Not physical but emotional pain, to see two people together, sharing their souls and learning to understand each other. Even so, just seeing someone you like, yet impossible to reach that person can cause emotional pain. Ever so often we get exposed to environment where we become left out, and soon enough, we get used to it. We get used to loneliness. It's not easy to find someone who thinks like you, and understands you. Maybe, it's all just of longing, of wish.

Sometimes, when you grow up a little older, a little wiser, you start to realise that what you thought it was suppose to be, was actually the opposite. It also takes a mature mind to keep changing the way one sees all this. To evaluate, analyse and to understand the situation, you need to be someone that is ready to take risk. Wrong evaluation, wrong analysis, and wrong understanding may lead to something far from what one has expected.

Life is just plain painfulness. What's more painful than feeling lost and off control in certain situation? Such situations where you can only stay aside and watch everything helplessly, simply because there is a lack of courage. With that, many opportunities just simply skip pass. Living my life with low self esteem and no courage, it's just plain painful.

A New Start

A complete brand new start in a brand new school. Culture Shock. Must remain in a complete mindset of trying to be sociable, which is difficult. How?

Now, I must choose my subject combination. What should I choose? God, please show me your wisdom. Practically, I can't take any of the subjects. Actually, I can just choose from two out of twelve choices. Why? Simply because I failed A.maths.

Been very busy, running between two lives, school and church. Headache. The event planning has some flaws and I think we need to re-plan. Re-planning takes up a lot of time. *Screams!* *Scatters everywhere.*

I'm so tired with everything. Although it's the beginning of the year, I already feel like resting. *Laze around*

Since

it's already a new year, 2007, guessed I'll better start a new blog. Just came back from SAC 2006 year end retreat recently, where I get to release my wildness by running around SAV. It's a retreat and a countdown. It's also where I get to understand a little more about other teens in my church. There are several happy moments where I really wish that it will never end, but I'm still wishing on it. So, it's a new year, one must have one's resolution, which consist of long term and short term.

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Long term aspirations:

To stay fit and be fit.

And to continue to serve God.

And try to read God's word everyday.

To stay fit and be fit. How? Maybe I'll get myself into either track and field or health and fitness CCA. I need to lose weight. Since no one's there to join me, I'll have self determination and be on one man's land.

Continue to serve God. Taken up a few positions. Usher. Server in Offertory. Vocalist in Music Min (Prob). Asst Leader in Group. Lastly, a volunteer in an event planning. Hope that I'll consistently remember it's not for my own sake but for God.

Try to read God's word everyday. I'm just to lazy to quietly sit down and read and reflect. All this affects me largely with the fact that I'm going to be one of the leaders in a youth group.

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This year is going to be stressful. So many things to complete, yet given so little time. There will be more socializing job to be done, in which I'm not good at. I'll be busier than ever with meetings every now and then. Of wish that things will be fine, this year.