Darkness

It's overruling my world again.
And, I shall leave it as it is.
People are pissing me off.
If you can't concern about others,
then don't bother trying.
Simply because, you will end up hurting others more.

Hate, my word of the current situation I am in.
Hate, will never leave me.
If love don't come, hate will rule over it.
My heart has been shattered, dead, gone.
My emotions, exist no more.

When I hear about cliques,
I felt anger, frustration, fury.
Hate cliques all my life.
I may seem happy in that whatsoever clique.
But seriously, I'm not.
Cliques, my definition,
are pairs coming together forming a group.
Odd numbers are where I will be left alone.
Cliques, what rubbish.

Friends, act of concern, yada yada yada.
Whatever.
They care. Right.
One minute, most likely.
One hour, maybe.
One day, don't think about it.
They say words of concern.
Like I will care.
Are they truly concern?
Like, NO.
All sorts of consultation.
Rubbish, nonsense.
They say they care.
I say they don't.
They say that's what I think.
I say what I think is true.
They shut up.
Right.
Half the time they get fucked worried about their life.
Half the time I get fucked worried about their lives as well.
Half the time I forgot about my life that it gets screwed, big time.
Who cares?
No one. Because their fucking life is more important.
That is truth.

I am one who no one can counsel at.
It's plain useless.
Why?
Because, I can't even counsel myself.
What good will you do?
Nothing.
So, make yourself scarce and leave me alone,
to die, and rot, and disappear forever.

THE END.

freedom, or NO freedom?

Practically everywhere, my home, in school, in church, with friends, with families, with enemies, with dumbass, I AM SO CONTROLLED BY THEM. Hate them, dislike them.

Procrastinating. So what? Nothing comes out of it.

Life, or Death? Which has more freedom? Neither. I live between both.

Freedom. Everyone has it. Why not me? Why am I being controlled even by the slightest decision I make? I'm too young to make decisions? Or is it too immature? Is this some kind of constructive comments, made indirectly? Or is it just some critiques? I have to accept this controls, don't I? What if I don't?

Rejection. Neglection. You name it.

What am I currently being under controlled of?
-My sleeping time.
-My CCA
-My studies
-My project
-My money
-Money, I spent
-Food I eat
-My friends
-Models I make
-Pictures I draw
-The way I talk
-The way I behave
-The place I have to go
-My room
-My privacy
-MY LIFE

HATE THESE.HATE EVERYTHING.LOVE NOTHING.LIFE _____.
(fill in the blank, if you wish)

Ad: Are you relevant?
Me: No. Never.

All right. Goodbye. (Jumps). (Plops dead). From the seventh floor.

Lemons of Life

As what my vocalist teacher said, "Humans are too clever, thus they have too much pride."
Too much pride to confess to the one you have head over heels with.
Why is it so tough to tell the person your feelings?
Is it because people now fear rejection?
Or is it they think they are not good enough for the one they loved?

It's just so sad that at many times, one could just stand aside and be happy for the other person.
Being able to secretly love someone, one may feel happy but yet lonely.
It's just like taste of sweet and sour.
The worst misery ever is to love someone, yet impossible to tell them.

I'm so tired of waiting and waiting.
It feels like my heart has died!
Anyway, it's good to have a solidified heart.
No pain.

All along, this may be only one sided, but why must you treat me so nice?
Why give wrong impressions?
The more I wish to give up on you, the nicer you treat me.
Yet, is this all just my longing?

1% sweet, 99% sour...
Would you tell me what's in your mind?